A Timeline of Corruption in Albany Thus Far in 2009

- March, 2009: Following a Times Union investigation that broke in 2008, numerous people in holding positions in the city of Albany, including City Treasurer Betty Barnette, and Police Chief James Tuffey, deny having any knowledge of a no-fine parking ticket system in Albany. It is later found out that Barnette lied, and that Tuffey had at one point run the union that was responsible for starting the system. People all over Albany wonder why THEY had to pay their tickets.

- May, 2009- Albany Police Chief Tuffey is discovered to have not completed a basic course for recertifying as a police offer. It is also discovered that, despite not holding a pistol permit, he sometimes carries a gun. Tuffey takes a vacation. Criminals everywhere begin to feel better about packing heat without a permit, because after all, Tuffey does it too.

- June, 2009- New York State Republicans, with the aid of Democratic Senantors Espada and Monserrate, stage a coup temporarily giving Republicans control of the Senate. Confused out of state people ask New Yorkers if guns were involved in the coup, and show visible disappointment when they are told “No.”

- June, 2009- Chief Tuffey returns to work, despite criticism from community leaders questioning whether or not he is above the law. He stacks up all the law books he can find, and determines that he is not.

- August, 2009- The senate reconvenes, with Espada and Monserrate back with the Democrats, who are again in majority. Pretty much everyone in New York is very confused about what the hell happened.

- September, 2009- Chief Tuffey officially steps down amid accusations that he stated to another officer that UAlbany homicide victim Richard Bailey “ wasn’t just some spook that was killed." The Albany Police Union in turn accuses Mayor Jerry Jennings' office of forcing Tuffey out, and of using it block or hold up new contract negotiations with the Union. A ruler is found, and Tuffey and Jennings compare the lengths of their genitalia to determine who is right in the matter- the Police Union Tuffey was a member of, or Jennings’ office. And the results? It's a close one, but we're going to need a photo finish.

Now the REALLY scary part of this is that 2009 isn’t even over…